Relationships

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This page is for you if your relationship is still ongoing, but no longer feels stable, and you are unsure how to respond or whether to continue.

It is also for you if the relationship has ended, but you are still trying to make sense of what happened and why it unfolded the way it did.

This often shows up as questions like: Is this relationship still right? or What actually happened between us?

The distinction between these two situations matters.

If the relationship is ongoing, the task is to understand what is happening between you as it unfolds. Signals are still emerging, and how you respond will shape what happens next.

You are not only observing the situation. You continue to influence it through your responses.

If the relationship has ended, the task is different. The events themselves are no longer changing, but their meaning often is.

The focus shifts from what is happening between you to how you are understanding what has already happened.

Attention turns to what you experienced, what remains unresolved, and how those elements continue to shape your interpretation.

Each section is written to help you see what is happening more clearly.

If the situation is misread at this stage, it is easy to carry forward conclusions that do not match what actually happened.

The aim is to stabilise your reading of the situation so that any decision you make is based on an accurate reading of circumstances, rather than as a response to pressure or confusion.

Choose the path that best matches where you are now.

In a relationship: Strain & Uncertainty

For ongoing relationships in which the future feels unclear.

→ Relationships: What's happening between you

After a relationship ends: What remains

For when the relationship has ended, but its meaning and consequences are still being worked through.

→ Relationships: What remains after it ends

Dominic Decker is a British-registered psychotherapist based in Berlin. His work focuses on helping individuals and couples think clearly under relationship pressure, assess whether a relationship can continue, and stabilise after separation.